all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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