tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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