I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
