bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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