everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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