The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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