so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
