i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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