Please, let me fuck your mom
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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