6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i believe in u and ur pee
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
