i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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