theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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