Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
