how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
