I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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