Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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