Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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