Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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