just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
