Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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