Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
