worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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