can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
