and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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