there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
