So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
