i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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