need another drink. this is the easiest way
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
