Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize