I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
