She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
