Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
