I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
and you fell through a lawn chair
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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