nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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