Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
