His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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