their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
