shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
