New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
