11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's Friday. Sex?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
