she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
