when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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