Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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