5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
