Sponge bath it is.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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