We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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