Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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