Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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