is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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