Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
